Saturday, January 21, 2012

View from the Inside...Lorne's Voice Pt. 8

Well...I got screwed.  That shouldn't come as a surprise to me by now, but it amazes me just how inventive they can be when it comes to screwing inmates.

I was summoned back to the disciplinary office on the morning of January 9th; that was the first surprise because I was not on The List for such an event.  In fact, I didn't know about it until the education officer caught me on my way into work and told me to go over there.  So, I go, sans all of my materials, to discover the second surprise: instead of Lieutenant Filson awaiting me, it was Sergeant Torsky.  I had already heard that this guy was a nightmare but there is nothing like having first-hand experience.

I began to guess that I was going to get the shaft when he asked about my witnesses, following my informal explanation of what transpired to precipitate the disciplinary action.  Torsky refused to let me call my father as a witness despite the fact of him being the alleged victim of my misconduct.  When I tried to call my next witness, Correctional Officer Williams, an female officer who was assigned to the visiting room on the date of my alleged misconduct, Torsky made a brief telephone call to the administration building and told me that she was not at work and not available as a witness.  I tried to call my third witness, Correctional Officer Jeff Guerrero, who was assigned to the visiting room on the date when I was allegedly previously warned about my behavior by Correctional Officer J. Volden, but Torsky didn't even bother to pick up the receiver a second time; instead he told me to go wait outside.

When I was called back into the disciplinary office, it got worse.  Torsky pretended that I was done calling my witnesses, promptly found me guilty of both general violations with which I had been charged and then sanctioned me to a loss of visitation privileges for a whopping 180 days! Perhaps the worst part of the whole ordeal was what Torsky put on the paperwork; he stated that when asked if I wanted to call a witness, I declined!

I've appealed, of course, via the administrative grievance process but I have no faith in the system.  As some of my previous articles have indicated, the powers that be routinely fail to follow the regulations which they themselves write.  I truly cannot understand why that is.  Why bother to write regulations which are not enforced when correctional staff violate them.  Why not just write regulations which strictly affect and govern inmates?  And, it could be argued that AR 707 is the worst offender.

AR 707 is divided into two parts; the regulation itself and the Inmate Disciplinary Manual (IDM).  The regulation prescribes department policy, the various violations and their categories and classes and what to do if an inmate is transferred to another facility while a disciplinary action is pending.  The IDM is all about the process, up to and including appeals.  As you will see, AR 707 and its IDM gut every procedural safeguard to ensure a fair process and give correctional staff huge loopholes to legitimatize their misconduct. 

The IDM states that when a correctional employee believes that an inmate has violated the inmate disciplinary code, "the employee shall file a Notice of Charges...before the completion of his/her shift"  IDM 2(A)(1) (emphasis added) The NOC, also known as Disciplinary Form 1, clearly displays the date on which the charges were written.  Volden stated in the Report of Violation section of the NOC that he allegedly witness verbally abuse my father at 2:45pm on December 30, 2011 but the NOC shows that Volden didn't file the notice until December 31st, the following day, well after he completed the shift during which the alleged violation occurred.

The IDM also states that the Report of Violation "shall be a factual and professional description of the violation" and that "opinions and assumptions shall not be included" (IDM 2(A)(2) (emphasis added).  Volden stated in the report that he witnessed me "in a loud voice verbally abuse" my dad but did not state what was actually said.  Did I cuss at my father" Did I hurl insults at him or call him derogatory terms or names? What constitutes verbal abuse to the mind of Volden? These are the kinds of questions that the aforementioned provision of the IDM is designed to prevent.  As it turned out, Torsky mentioned during my disciplinary hearing that the so-called "verbal abuse" was me telling my father, loudly and with repetition, (because he is 88 years of age and quite hard of hearing), that some of his choices and decision were indirect contributions to the events which led to my incarceration.  Does that sound abusive to you? It certainly doesn't to me and definitely arouses Free Speech concerns; am I not allowed to disagree with my father in an institutional setting for fear of getting disciplined?

The IDM goes on to state that the Report of Violation "shall contain specific details of the violation, including...the facts surrounding the violation, in chronological order and the names of witnesses to the violation, if any" among other things.  IDM 2(A)(3) (emphasis added) As was previously discussed, Volden provided very little if anything in the way of facts but he also neglected to list any witnesses to the report of violation and there apparently were some because Torsky told me so at my disciplinary hearing, although he neglected to provide their names so that they could be examined.  Of course, this was news to me because other than Volden or Williams, I saw maybe one other correctional officer in the visiting room at the same time as those two throughout the entire visit.  But even so, Volden was obligated to that put that information in his report.

As to the disciplinary hearing process itself, the IDM states that if an "inmate pleads 'not guilty' [the inmate] shall be given a qualified opportunity to call witnesses" on behalf of the inmate IDM 2(B)(3)(e)(7) (emphasis added) I did in fact plead not guilty, so Torsky was obligated to let me call my witnesses.  You already read what happened with that.  Now, that isn't to say that my opportunity to call witnesses is absolute.  Torsky was permitted to deny witnesses if he felt "that the testimony would be irrelevant, redundant, hazardous to the security of the institution/facility, or would in any way endanger the safety of any individual, including the witness" IDM 2(B)(3)(e)(7)(a).  However the catch to that is that Torsky is required to document each such denial. Id.  Torsky alternatively could have "stipulated as to the proffered testimony of any proposed witness of the inmate." IDM 2 (B)(3)(e)(7)(b)  As you've read, Torsky didn't do any of that, going so far as to conceal his malfeasance by stating on Disciplinary Form III that I declined to call any witnesses.

A reasonable person would probably surmise that the use of mandatory language, such as the emphasized words in the quotations from the IDM, would indemnify an inmate against a disciplinary action when, as in my situation, those provisions are not followed.  Sadly, that is not the case.  To ensure that inmates cannot use the procedure to their benefit, the regulation has what I call "The Great Escape Clause": Reliance on any published standard, the use of mandatory language, if such exists, or the ...procedures related to the conduct of the disciplinary process, including but not limited to timeframes, witnesses, appeals is solely for the purpose of providing guidance for employees and shall not be considered representative of the manner in which the Department has chosen to exercise its discretion in such matter.  A. The failure of the Department to follow any procedure shall not result in any mandatory outcome, e.g. dismissal of charges but shall be one of many factors to be considered in exercising discretion as to the outcome of any violation. AR 707.01(10) (emphasis added)
Essentially this provision guts every procedure and requirement set forth in the IDM and, at its root, grants correctional staff the power to do whatever they want as regards the disciplinary process.  Why bother to use mandatory language, then, if the procedures and requirements are not mandatory?

It is even more shocking when one considers the meager evidentary standard necessary to find an inmate guilty of a disciplinary charge.  "A finding of guilt must be based on some evidence, regardless of the amount." IDM 2(B)(3)(e)(11)(a).  As Filson told me, which I believe was mentioned in my last article, what that really means is that if anybody, particularly a correctional employee, says that I did something to violate the disciplinary code, whether that statement is truthful or not, then I can be found guilty of that violation.  Wouldn't it make sense and be prudent, then, to have mandatory procedural safeguards to offset such a low evidentary standard? clearly not to the powers that be, which leads me to believe that their aims are strictly oppression and punishment and that they desire to strip an inmate of everything they can get away with on a whim and a moment's notice. 

As you can see form the foregoing excerpts from AR 707 and its IDM and from my present situation, if a correctional employee takes a dislike to an inmate for whatever reason, such as the case between Volden and I, the inmate is screwed.  Oh, yes, an inmate has resources.  They can appeal the outcome of the disciplinary process via the administrative grievance process but let's face it, how many wardens are going to overturn the decision of one of their upper-echelon employees - disciplinary hearings must be conducted by correctional officers holding a rank of Sergeant or higher- in favor of some inmate? And when the appeal fails, the only avenue remaining to an inmate is litigation and by the time that's done, whatever discipline to which the inmate was sanctioned has long been served and discharged, so what good does that do even in the unlikely scenario of the inmate prevailing in court? That is why I have no faith in the system.

How do I fight this? I truly am at a loss.  Unless the warden overturns or reduces the sanction, I can't have visitors until July, and I'm pretty much resigned to that fact.  What's worse is that every disciplinary charge which sticks goes on my prison record and that has a major impact on hearings before the parole board and on applications to the pardons board.  Since the end of June 2011, I have been found guilty of three general violations and two minor violations, whereas prior to June 2011, I had been disciplinary free since October 2004.  This is a disturbing trend which has a definite impact upon everything that I am trying to do to shorten my incarceration and get out of prison at the earliest possible time.  I wish that I could say that it was entirely my fault but that would be just a lie.  No, I have been victimized by two separate officers now, Sean Lagier at NSP and Volden here- and I'm starting to get scared, of the cops and of being forced to serve another 18 years before I can go home.

Perhaps the easiest solution would be to just lie down and take whatever they dish out.  I sometimes wish that it was in me to do so.  But, the truth is, that it's not.  I was bullied throughout my middle school years and I recognize now that it had a profound impact on me.  I can't abide it.  I can't tolerate it.  With perhaps a single exception, every single facet of my criminal history can be traced to incidents where I perceived that I was being bullied and/or assaulted.  When I'm bullied, I fight back and I can't seem to not do that.  And that's exactly what Lagier, Volden and Correctional officers J. Hill and Mendez have done-bullied me.  They are bullies.  And they have badges.  And I'm getting scared of where that could lead.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

View from the Inside...Lorne's Voice Pt. 7 (cont.)

Some of the officers here, primarily the younger ones, take bullying inmates to higher levels and hold grudges.  I am experiencing this very issue with one such trio of young officers.  My father paid me a surprise visit on Saturday, November 26, 2011.  Because I was unaware of his coming, when the unit officer informed me that I had a visit, I wasn't even sure that he was talking to me.  Once that was established, I then had to change my clothes as I was in casual wear; permitted in our cells and out at gym and recreation yard but not in visiting room.  I did so in a huge hurry, forgetting to remove my watch, which an inmate is not permitted to wear in the visiting room.  So, when I got to the entrance to the visiting room, Correctional officer J. Volden noticed that I was still wearing my watch and sent me back to my housing unit to leave it in my cell.  When I finally got into the visiting room, watch free, I handed my prison identification card to the officer at the visiting room desk, who was Correctional Officer Mendez at that time.  As Mendez took my identification, he asked me what took me so long and without waiting for a response, threatened me with cancellation of a future visit if I took so long again.  Well that just pissed me off because I had hurried as fast as I could once I found out I had a visit and because my dad is 88 years old and doesn't have too many visits or years left to him.  So I somewhat vehemently explained to Mendez that I got there as fast as I could and then began to walk away from the desk.  My mistake was that I said the F-word somewhat loudly as I was walking away.

A few minutes later Mendez came over to our table and asked to speak with me, so politely, in front of my father, a member of the public.  We went into the adjoining room where Mendez was joined by Volden and Correctional officer J. Hill.  Mendez proceeded to ask me what my problem with him was, to which I immediately responded that my problem was that he threatened me.  The conversation got a little animated but it ended with Mendez telling me that I should have been thanking him instead of cussing at him (which I'm not actually sure but don't believe I did) and to go enjoy my visit.  I said forcefully "thank you" and returned to my father's table. The rest of the visit went without event and I considered the matter done.  I discovered how far from done it was on Monday November 28, a mere two days later.  Hill was filling in for the education officer that day and as a participant in the Braille program here, I report to the education building every weekday.  That afternoon Hill recognized the inmate in line in front of me waiting to go into the education building, said the name of the inmate as Hill checked him off the list and then looked at me without saying a word.  Figuring that he couldn't possibly recognize me, I waited.  But after quite a few seconds of awkward silence, I finally volunteered my last name.  Well Hill apparently took issue with the way I said my name because he said so and then told me to go to the end of the building and "hold up the wall".  In all of my time in the Nevada penal system, I had never heard that phrase before, but rather than asking him what he meant for fear that he would escalate the situation, I went to the end of the building and stood against the wall with my back to it, hands in my pockets.  Apparently that wasn't what Hill had in mind because he came over to me, put his mouth really close to my ear and told me to face the wall and put  my hands on the wall, which I did, palms down at waist level.  Hill still unsatisfied, came over to me, grabbed each of my forearms in turn, forcibly moved each of my hands high above my head, kicked my legs apart and angrily explained that I now was indeed "holding up the wall".  By this time other security and escort officers had gathered around, Volden among them.  One officer whom I did not know asked Hill what was going on and Hill snottily replied that I had attitude because of my (64 back number", the implication being that I wasn't respecting him due to the length of time I'd been in prison, or so I supposed, and that I had gotten  "shitty with Mendez" in the same fashion.  This other officer who was talking to Hill then tried to ask me what was going on but I clammed up and refused to answer, assuming at that point no matter what I said, I was going to face disciplinary charges and a trip to the hole.

Eventually the shift commander, Lt. Filson arrived.  He asked Hill what was going on and Hill replied that he had asked for my name (a lie, as he did no such thing) and that I had gotten attitude with him and refused a direct order (which I didn't refuse because I didn't understand the order).  Filson then sought my side of the story to which I responded that I had no attitude, that Hill never asked for my name and that I was not trying to be disobedient.  Volden asked if I was calling Hill a liar and I responded in the negative; I did so because I didn't think it prudent to challenge Hill surrounded by nothing but cops.  Filson asked me what my exit strategy was and I told Filson that I didn't have one because I didn't plan on being in this situation.  Filson then asked me if apologizing to Hill would be a suitable resolution to the matter because, Filson said, an inmate always loses to cops.  I said "whatever".  Filson turned to Hill and asked if that was okay with him and Hill replied "yes".  Filson finished by asking Hill if he ever had a problem with me before to which Hill replied "no"  and then ordering me to report to the education building.  I once again considered the matter done because of the lieutenant's involvement.

The belief was bolstered when my father came to see me on Friday December 16th.  Neither Hill nor Mendez were in the visiting room that day or at least that I saw. My only interactions with Volden were immediately prior to the visit when he instructed me in a neutral tone of voice to discard a piece of paper which I had brought to give to my dad.  (I thought I could give him stuff but apparently not) and at the the tail end of my visit when I politely asked him if I could go to my medical appointment immediately following my visits without having to return to my unit first and he told me that I could do so.  It was further reinforced by my fathers last visit on Friday December 30.  Hill was not in the visiting room at all and Mendez didn't arrive until there was only an hour or so left for the visit and I didn't really see much of him at all.  Volden was there all day again but we only interacted immediately prior to the visit when I neutrally told him that I had nothing but my identification card and asked him if he wanted to conduct a pat search of my person to which he replied in the negative.
So imagine my surpise when I was summoned to the sergeants office to be served with a notice of disciplinary charges, written and filed by none other than Volden who alleged that I verbally abused my dad and that he has previously warned me about such behavior (which of course he hadn't). Yes, we had and argument but that's nothing new; my father and I haven't seen eye to eye our whole lives.  Certainly my voice was raised as my father is hard of hearing, not an unusual characteristic of an elderly person.  And I do get animated when I engage in a heated discussion.  But I didn't verbally abuse my father; I did not call him names or cuss at him in any fashion.  I didn't see any of the surrounding visitors go to Volden and complain about us.  Neither Volden nor any other officer came over to us and admonished us in any way.  Volden certainly never warned me about my behavior on December 16th as he claimed in the notice of disciplinary charges.  It turns out that Filson is the hearing officer for these charges.  After I informally ran all of the foregoing down to him he was very frank and understanding.  He opted to postpone the hearing to next week because he wanted to speak with Volden before rendering a decision and Volden was not on duty this week.  In addition the postponement also gives me time to get my father's contact information - he recently moved to Las Vegas and I don't have his mobile phone number yet as he is going to have to be my key witness at any formal hearing.  but Filson did say something which gives me cause for concern: a disciplinary hearing officer needs only the tiniest shred of evidence, such as the statement of an officer regardless of how much testimony is elicited to refute it, to find me guilty and impose disciplinary sanctions.  (FYI: Lorne had his hearing and was found guilty and had his visits stopped for the next 6 months- Erika) So now I am not sure what to do.  Suffice it to say that no matter how unmanly it may sound, I am scared of this trio of officers (Volden, Hill and Mendez).  They or at least Volden, seem to not want to let the matter go or worse, to escalate things.  That can lead to dire, abusive consequences for me.  Yet my only alternative seems to be to not go to the visiting room which is entirely unfair to my father.  (FYI:Lorne had said that the visiting situation is so unbearable that he doesn't want me to come and visit him while he is any facility down south.- Erika)  What do I do when these officers get re-assigned, especially if they become assigned to my housing unit? Is it my lot to suffer through daily trashings of my cell and bogus disciplinary action after bogus disciplinary action? I didn't even have these fears about Lagier.  

The reason for all that boils down to the difference in the behavioral outlook between staff of the northern and southern facilities.  Lagier may be like Volden, Hill and Mendez but the majority of his co-workers and superiors are not.  Despite her denial of my grievances I know that Lieutenant Stacy Branham gave Lagier a butt-chewing over at least some of his wrongdoings in what he did to me and my property according to two reliable sources.  But down south here, I have no such confidence because nobody, not even Filson, has given me any.  Everyone else, with rare exceptions, comes off just like Volden, Hill and Mendez.  One can see that manifest in the tension level of the inmates.  Inmates are quite a bit more laid back up north than they are down here.  I earnestly believe that if the officers were to dial back their attitudes, most, if not all, inmates would too.  

The attitude, ethics and professionalism of northern staff goes a long way toward explaining why I want to be transferred back up north so badly.  What I don't understand is why the disparity exists, why southern staff can't be like northern staff.  Perhaps the disparity lies in a cultural difference between northern and southern Nevada as my girlfriend suggests.  Whatever the reason, the behavior, the ethics and professionalism staff needs to be addressed and improved and soon before things get completely out of hand and dangerous prison uprisings ensue. (FYI: I think what I said to Lorne was something along the lines of the fact that officers in the north comes from solid NV rancher/farmer stock.  For them, highly ethical behavior and being professional are reflections of their upbringing whereas the officers that come from the southern part of the state come mostly out of the Vegas area and are transplants...most of whom were looking to "get rich quick" in Vegas and ended up being miserable failures and had to get a job in order to support themselves.  I think that this hypothesis was anecdotally confirmed with the layoffs of the northern officers from NSP mostly due to their refusal to move south for vacant positions...something I said from the word "jump" wouldn't happen.  The officers at NSP were mostly local to the Carson City area, had established deep roots in the community and with the recent recession, would be unable to sell their homes and purchase another one in an area with a much higher cost of living.)

View from the Inside...Lorne's Voice Pt. 7

My previous article briefly touched upon the wrongful behavior of Nevada correctional employees.  When I consider this topic, it occurs to me that there is a marked difference in the behavioral outlook as a whole between the staff of the norther and southern facilities.  In the north most employees are ethical, professional and of average to above average character.  Of course, there were always a few bad apples.  But in the South, poor ethics, professionalism and overall character seems to be the norm.  This division has existed at least since April 2000, which is when I had the misfortune of entering the Nevada penal system.

I did my "fish time" (the time an inmate serves at an intake while they are being medically examined, processed into the system and classified to an institution) at Southern Desert Correctional Center from April 2000 until September 2000.  I remember that almost every correctional officer with whom I interacted was verbally abusive and did everything they could get away with to make every legitimate task impossible or as difficult as possible for inmates to accomplish.  Some officers were physically abusive as well.  I remember David Horner and I were once physically abused by Correctional Officer Childress while we were on our knees facing a wall with our hands on top of our heads.  The physical abuse was relativly minor with no lasting effect but it was conducted because the officer was under the mistaken impression that we were sex offenders.  At the time I thought it was merely another dismal aspect of prison life and did nothing about it.

I resided at Lovelock Correctional Center, a northern facility from December 2000 until February 2006.  My experience with correctional staff was entirely different.  Officers were firm but polite, courteous and even friendly.  There were a handful of misery-inducers but we inmates knew who they were and their poor conduct was generally limited to rudeness and making inmates wait for things which they had coming to them.  The two worst offenders were Correctional Officers Crane (female) and Anderson (male) who were allegedly engaged in a relationship and of course wanted to work with each other.  They also enjoyed "searching" (trashing) inmate's cells, particularly those of inmates whom they didn't like for whatever reason, sometimes even if it was just because an inmate made a legitimate demand of them, such as a request form, or if an inmate was living too comfortably.  I personally never had a problem with either of these two, but when either of them were around, I laid low and stayed out of their way, even transferring housing units once to get away from Anderson in 2004.

I ended up at Nevada State Prison, which is also a northern facility, at the end of May 2006 and that is where I stayed until July 2011.  There were approximately twice as many bad apples there but by the end of 2008, only about half of them were left.  Those who were still there in 2009 were doozies, but as before, we knew who they were: Senior Correctional Officers Truesdell and Michael Cruse and Correctional Officers Franke, Murphy, Papke, Podesta and Sean Lagier.  All of them lived to trash cell just for the slightest provocation or even just on a whim.  My cell had never been searched more times than when Cruse worked my housing unit.  Cruse would go the extra mile, though, and do his best to convince administration officials to keep restricting the rules more and more, especially when it came to inmate personal property and the hobbycraft program.  And if administration didn't cooperate, Cruse would do what he wanted anyhow. 

Sean Lagier was just as bad.  He had a habit of confiscating, damaging and destroying legitimate inmate property during his cell searches and then threatening the inmates with disciplinary action on the altered/contraband/unauthorized items he found in the search if the inmates filed a grievance against him.  Several times, shift lieutenants told him to stay out of the workers housing units because of all the problems he caused and inmates he pissed off.  He possessed utter disdain for procedure and utter hatred for prisoners.  It was if it was his mission in life to save the world from us, as if he was the last soldier in the country's war against criminals.

Up until the end of my tenure there, I never had a problem with any of those guys.  I was never singled out by Cruse for anything; his shakedowns of my cell were part of training exercises for new recruits.  Podesta was even somewhat friendly to me.  But, Lagier finally got to me at the end of June 2011 and involved all the bad apples except for Cruse and Podesta.  Lagier confiscated my debit card information, destroyed my wallet, trashed my cell (it took me 9 hours to clean up my cell!) removed a bunch of my property from my cell, filed disciplinary action against me for some of it and deliberately failed to account for the rest of it.  I filed half a dozen or so grievances against Lagier and his cohorts and all of my grievances have been denied, or are about to be very soon, in the case of those still awaiting a response at the final stage of the process.

So, a month after all of that, I ended up back where I started, at good old SDCC.  The names are unfamiliar but the prevailing attitude is still the same as it was 12 years ago.  With some exception, the correctional staff here is rude and does everything possible to screw inmates out of what they're supposed to have.  For instance, as I alluded to in a previous article, there is one officer assigned to our housing unit who, although quite respectful, even friendly to me and a select few other inmates, fails to let us out of our cells for tier time on time with delays lasting as long as an hour.  If you need any forms, no matter how urgent, or need to use the stapler, do so on another shift because this officer won't do any of that unless you are one of those select few inmates with whom he's respectful and friendly.  That brings to mind another officer who only works our unit once in a blue moon but specifically tells each wing of the housing unit not to bother him for ANYTHING, no matter what or he will summon security and escort officer to shake down cells on the offending wing. 

(To be continued)

Sunday, January 8, 2012

New information from Lorne...

Lorne called me the other day and told me that he was sending all of his grievance paperwork to me.  He wanted me to review it to see if for some reason he was not being clear on the nature of the grievance or if he was not providing enough information to allow the reviewing officer enough information to make the correct decision.

I have news for you baby..."it's not you".  I promise...it's not about you.  I found Lorne's grievances well written, articulate, gave the names of witnesses who can verify what happened or that Lorne's items were operational before the officers damaged them and the list goes on.  As I am reading through the grievances I start wondering, just how stupid are these officers and as it turns out they are VERY stupid.  I am not sure why they are unable to read or use critical thinking skills but it seems to me when you have someone declaring that my CD player was working just minutes before the guards searched my cell and I can prove it because my cellmate saw me using it, and then provide receipts that verify the cost of the item when purchased...how can ANYONE say "you didn't prove your case, grievance denied"?

And these are the same people that we expect to make good choices when face with life and death circumstances?? REALLY?? How much more evidence does an inmate need to supply to prove that their personal items were damaged when guards, who were in blatant violation of their own rules, search a cell and up until that point, previously undamaged equipment, comes up damaged.  If there were two guys in that cell and one of them died, you can bet your bippy that the lone living person would get the blame.  So how is it that perfectly functional equipment, that was in use just moments before officers removed everyone in the cell to conduct an illegal search, comes up damaged and it's not the fault of the officers conducting the search??

I accept the fact that Lorne is in prison, but he isn't stupid and sadly enough I am not in a financial position to hire a lawyer to file a lawsuit against the state of NV for such blatant and criminal wrongdoing. 

My ex once said that there was only a minor difference between the officers and the inmates...and that difference was, the officers never got caught.  I believe him. 

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Well it's a New Year...

So I have to wonder, what changes will the gods send along to me this year? what will they send to Lorne? and what will they send to the two of us as a couple? Certainly his move to Southern Desert facility has been stressful to say the least.  While he is "working" it is unpaid work and according to Lorne, pretty mind numbing.  For those who didn't know, Lorne is a certified Braille translator and he translates books into the Braille language for the sight impaired.  I totally believe him when he says that it is mind numbing work...most work of that kind is going to be very tedious for someone with an IQ of 150. 
Lorne's father has moved to the Vegas area which means that he will be getting more visits from him.  Lorne is unsure of this development.  The father-son relationship is horribly damaged and I don't think Lorne is really interested making it better.  It is a case of too little, far too late.  That makes me very sad for Lorne.  I have asked when Lorne wants me to visit and he has said he does not want me to visit him at all while he is at Southern Desert.  Apparently the visiting area is so bad and the officers so stringent in their demands, that we would be unable to have any quality time together.  The first visit he had with his father in over 3 years Lorne had to end early because the only way he could use the bathroom was to end the visit early...the officer refused to allow Lorne to use the restroom in the visiting area since it was not at the scheduled time. 

I can only hope that the gods treat me favorably and if they throw things my way that they at least give me the strength and resources to deal with them.

Happy New Years everyone!